he didn't check on me when i was sick

Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. The AAM community tends toward the ultra-professional-boundaries side of things, which makes sense in theory, but in reality the OP probably felt fairly close to their employee. I wonder about making it required, though. No one left a message. I almost always know if a delivery that will require a signature is coming, Ill know that I ordered delivery (in the beforetimes when they didnt just ring the doorbell and leave it on the porch). 4 was there an established procedure for being absent, and did she follow it? Of course messages were checked during the hours that we were waiting for her to come in. But how many people die from diabetic comas each year? And the fact they didnt check messages is just ridiculous. BUT, depends on the town/area/etc. in my apartment, i cant hear the door from my bedroom even if the place was in dead silence. Its really not even that uncommon. And they will linger for a long time if they suspect you are there. Even though Im not in that population, if I was disoriented from sexytimes and startled by frantic knocking and yelling at my door that I didnt expect (where the word FIRE FIRE FIRE isnt being repeated) I sure as hell would be calling the police. Its hard to know how to react in the moment, and no one will ever be happy with what you choose to do, so you have to rely on your own judgment. But keep in mind that grammar (and spelling and in some cases coherence) are rarely considered mandatory in text messages. Thats violent. Theres definitely a noticeable change in his personality and the way he acts towards you. I can only imagine how the employee felt to have her BOSSES show up at her home when they didnt hear from her. In every ER or EMS job Ive had it was just understood that if you didnt show up for your shift the police would be called to do a wellness check. Our office manager, who is an older women who lives alone, didnt come in and didnt call in one day earlier this year (pre-covid) which was very out of character for her. And this is totally normal and happens to just about everyone! If this is a one-time issue, it may end with a verbal counseling session and the manager making note of the discussion. He should want to be there for you, emotionally, checking in on you, making you laugh, and lifting your spirits, In a relationship, one of the signs he doesnt value you is if he only calls when he doesnt have anything else happening. These Excuses For Not Texting Back Mean He's Lying This seems like an overreaction because a middle-aged woman was NOT found unconscious on the floor of their home, when for a diabetic patient that is a very real and present riskespecially if they are insulin dependent. Yeah, this. i am NOT getting him a dream gift!! I was awakened very late at night by banging on the door which escalated to banging on the window. Presumably you hear sirens if the place is on fire. Calling out of work one day when youre otherwise reliable isnt messing with your livelihood. I have multiple relatives with diabetes, and for several of them it ultimately proved fatal. People make mistakes. They get diarrhea, stomach pain, incision pain, and general tiredness from the stress of general anesthesia. To my inline comments above, Id add one additional thought: Its probably a very prudent idea, especially (but not exclusively) if you live alone and/or have serious health issues, to think through this issue a bit. Another girl marched out of her door while I was standing there wondering if I was awake, beaned the skateboarder in the head with an (empty) pizza box, and promptly slammed the door again. It doesnt sound like she had an emergency contact that lived with her. By clicking Accept all cookies, you agree Stack Exchange can store cookies on your device and disclose information in accordance with our Cookie Policy. So. I personally would add: do not call police for welfare checks on BIPOC people because that ends up with the police killing the person in a significant number of cases. Especially in a townhouse/apartment situation where its probably just a delivery for the wrong address. The going in person and banging was excessive. They were hours late at that point and not answering their phone, but they did call in just before he was going to ask HR what to do apparently they had just massively overslept! We dont believe she is looking to sell everything for money. Agree, this happened to me on the other end. I think there is a lot of room for improvement in how the employer handled it, but I dont think they overreacted by feeling that they needed to check on her. The one time I did answer it, because it was mid-morning and I was expecting a package, a woman tried to barge into my apartment to use the kitchen. I think this is why its important to have documented procedures of what to do in certain situations, like a large organisation would have. And if boss had waited for a while to see if he got in touch, as suggested, again, my poor colleague might have died. If I was your employee I would have quit as soon as I could after that. Our boss was worried and asked me to call her. And, ultimately, if an employee doesnt want to provide an EC and doesnt want you to check up on them they have an opportunity to tell you that. You certainly are there for him when he has the sniffles or a broken arm, so shouldnt he be there for you? Hi Carolyn: I was sent home early from a work trip with the flu. Because of how worried I was, I contacted the police in the county that I think Lucy lives in, using the non-emergency hotline. I didnt want to get out of bed at first, and when he kept doing it, I did finally get up and peek to see who it was, but I didnt want to own the door at that point because I was scared! I was 600 miles away and was concerned he might die. He didnt check up on me when I was in the hospitalA female age 26-29, *zzygurl writes:Hey everyoneIm really going through a lot right now and its hurting me. But again, if the employee had turned out to need help, this would all look very different. I guess we got off lucky. Finally, very uncomfortably, she called his emergency contact his mom who lived out of state. Im not saying a person doesnt need time alone if theyre sick, but I guess its sort of an insecurity thats built up in you becuase of how he always treats you and suddenly, it has changed. She lives alone and 100+ miles away from any of her kids. Also, there was someone accompanying the police, which always makes a difference. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Still not quite over that. ), and also after the manager had left to go check on them. One of the employees was an insulin-dependent middle-aged woman who lived alone. Book or a story about a group of people who had become immortal, and traced it back to a wagon train they had all been on, calculation of standard deviation of the mean changes from the p-value or z-value of the Wilcoxon test, Extract data which is inside square brackets and seperated by comma. Please. I never heard if he survived or not, but I think about him all the time, especially if I have little slips in the shower. I think it is unreasonable to suggest there are no differences between employers going to an employees home themselves a couple hours after they havent shown up vs. a neighbor calling the authorities to do a wellness check after someone hasnt been seen in several days. In my area, it would take *at least* 15 minutes from the first door knock to the cops showing up. I spoke to someone work related but not in our office on a Friday. As other commenters have mentioned, diabetes has the potential to be fatal, so in that sense I dont think the OP was overreacting. Aside from staying at the apartment after calling for a wellness check, I dont think they were terribly wrong to escalate their concerns. There are a few reasons. And there was another time when I was actually with my boyfriend at the time when the dude came around and now I could tell because he would yell too. But definitely not after 2! If employee called in sick then she did have a problem when they found her not sick. So i think you did right, given the circumstances. Because if they dont follow those established procedures which are there for a reason! February 13, 2015 at 8:11 pm #399708 Reply Samantha Grey Andrea, i didnt get him a dream gift recently. She called out super late, after the day had started and when she did not get through to anybody she just left a message. He will reappear again when hes feeling better. That implies to me that they also didnt hear the police and property manager enter the home, walk through it, and come up to the bedroom door. No reply to my text! Im sorry yall had to deal with that. They made attempts that indicated a significant time lapse between the employees start time and showing up at her door. I assumed he called from his personal mobile and the voicemail was on a work phoneline. They were thinking the employee failed to show up for work OR call in on a timeline that indicated urgency in letting the employer know they werent going to be in at all that day. Or the property manager. We decided to be exclusive after 1st date. Theres some folks alive in Nashville today because they answered the door to NPD. My manager, meanwhile, was ready to fire her for not showing up. She was busy. If they dont get an answer, they may leave by themselves or realize their mistake. After that the details I have are really sketchy because nobody liked to talk about it too much. I also have traumatic flashbacks in response to an odd grab bag of triggers inclusive of the classic Nokia ringtone, the iPhone incoming call screen, and reading a comment section about a shockingly egregious example of panic and overreaction that proves to be unexpectedly full of people saying that they just love and care and cant help it and what if you were dead and I will gladly hurt your mere feelings because that isnt really harm and isnt important.. Wouldnt you recognise your bosss voice, though? Encourage him to be honest about how this has impacted him. It turned out that the office manager thought she had called or emailed (I dont remember which) but something didnt go through and it was just a mistake. Two of the staff went to his apartment and found him dead. The police are not some uncontrollable force of nature, theyre people who need to be retrained so theres no risk of them shooting kids. Yes, its possible the employee is dead in which case, waiting a few days isnt going to change anything. However, the employee should be proactive about their preferences if their employer perceives that there is an emergency, and also have some awareness of how situations might be interpreted if they (employee) are not being responsive, which is more likely due to the employees health condition. Moments like this can reveal hidden fractures in our bond that need to be addressed so the relationship doesnt lose its integrity. I jump in the car, near tears with thoughts if him laying dead on the floor with the dog howling next to him. He messaged me after surgery and he updated me Sunday as well. But oh lord, if I were her Id enjoy doing dramatic retellings of that story for years. Its not uncommon to see in the news about a mentally ill person being shot and killed by police. I dont understand why you would prefer that people involve the police in these scenarios rather than make a point of listing a closer and more reliable emergency contact for yourself. Girl97_ Follow Xper 1 Age: 25 My boyfriend and I are 1,5 years together. You wouldnt be brushed to the side when a better opportunity comes along, Taking every opportunity to turn the conversation into one about them, dismissing your emotions or claiming that they are ?too much,? So 15 year ago my sister-in-law was the administrative assistant at smaller (like 15 employee) finance company. So I get that in some offices it would be a big deal, but in a lot of them, it really wouldnt. That doesnt even make sense. So it was our local rep not wanting to deal with it I guess. We eventually decided to let people know in new hire orientation that no-call, no-shows WILL result in your emergency contacts being called within hours because it was freaking people out (and honestly lead to more than one affair being discovered). I live alone Thats common sense. All these stories of situations in which managers crossing this boundary saved lives is really not relevant. Browse other questions tagged, Start here for a quick overview of the site, Detailed answers to any questions you might have, Discuss the workings and policies of this site. I miss my friend. Earlier this year, Linden Cameron, a CHILD with autism, was murdered by police after his parents called the cops for help while he was having a meltdown. You cant leave the emergency contact blank, and the forms dont give you a place to explain when to contact each person. Employer didnt leave immediately to go check. And why would they check their home number? Also having work at various retail jobs before and also daycare, I cant imagine many jobs were if you call in the morning of and they found out later it was for a sex romp you wouldnt be immediately canned. By the way, these are all normal emotions for someone caring for a loved one who is ill. Our emotions are complex, and we need permission to mention what can sometimes feel unmentionable. I did one once! She opened the storm door to hand them a cordless phone and they pushed their way in. We got the wrong Sansa. My cousin was on her shift as usual, was absolutely fine and didnt even know that had happened. Even a low likelihood times a potentially catastrophic consequence equals me not answering the door. It was terrible and I could never forgive Joes supervisor for being so uncaring and for misleading us to think that he had been in contact with Joe when he hadnt. SO pretty much what was happening, is he can dish it out but he cant take it when he is ignored. Most of those jobs you have to be nearly dead to not work your shift the day of. Especially if the company made me fill out hiring paperwork that included emergency contacts. Eh, I dont know that the employee is justified in being furious. She got back to me shortly after via messenger and I think she had been in the shower trying to clear out a nasty head congestion. Just because the cops show up doesnt mean someone is getting arrested or beaten. When we experience these life and death moments in our marriages, it immediately. *The best thing you can be, is wrong and embarrassed. We did answer for the police, because they said police, and we could see them through the peephole (and then we directed them to the other apartment). The conservative commentator said he was "shocked" but "not angry" following his abrupt exit from the network in April. if ive left a message at work saying that im not available, im not available. Im also Type 1 and, while they certainly could have done things better (like call an emergency contact first), get why the OP did what they did! I knew he had planned to go out the night before, so I was vacillating between imagining him having been mugged or robbed, or having the time of his life waking up in some girls apartment. And that he can reach out to you as he feels up to it. Calling this womans emergency contact shouldve been the first (and only) step. I eventually noticed *something* that made me take the headphones off and realize that I was hearing a scary level of hammering on the front door, but it was surprisingly easy to miss considering how hard the officer was trying to get my attention. After the fact, I could have seen where I went wrong, but in the moment? Co-signed. The employee might still have been annoyed because she was ultimately fine, but the situation would be much less messy, and, more to the point, their actions would be easier to defend than they are now. Some reasons for his lack of response may be perfectly accidental, of course. Im sympathetic too; Ive worked with someone who really struggled to manage their diabetes and went into a diabetic stupor on a few occasions at work. I agree that the odds of finding someone in a situation like this for whom an intervention can make a difference is rare, but Id take those odds over the possibility of leaving a coworker to die. I dont think the ambulance people can break in, the police can if they think they have cause. Plus, in your example, you followed a logical progression. I suppose. Could have ended in tragedy over a simple mistake. To me I think its mostly calling the police (showing up to the employees house is also an overstep but in a small business in maybe a small community it makes more sense to me). The chances are good that my workplace would be the first to know that something was wrong and likely the only ones to know soon enough to send help. If it's an ongoing issue, it may advance to a written warning. Theres some times I try to take a sick day from work and I end up having to address so many texts or quick little issues I just end up having to be available even if its just to tell people Im out of office. Not quite the same, but her response reminds me a bit of my cousin when he was working in London at the time of the 7/7 bombings my aunt tried to call him at work that day, eventually got through and he wasnt at his desk. I was sick two days ago and he didn't check upon me if I'm doing wel. Is it weird he wants to meet on Sunday and not another day? The guilt is real, I feel you, but you didn't do anything wrong. The day of my doctors appointment, I was sent to the Emergency room. Ever. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Im not sure where, but I read some news article about how employers reporting unexplained absences as a important way that people who died at home are found. and called in a wellness check, and he had unfortunately passed away. People are being really hard on you but I think many people would have done the same. A neighbor had an emergency situation a few months ago and I called the police while I waited with them. The bottom line is that this person is not necessarily is not that much of an outlier for not answering the phone or door. Assuming that the employers missed her message to the home office, then they would have called *someone,* who would have tried to reach her, and not reaching her, would have contacted the building manager and the police. Families dont often know how to remain professional. I just think of it about the same as I do my seatbelt. Then I had a message saying he is still not well. Moreover, I trust them to relay only the information my employer needs. This sounds like they werent at the office to get the call. See, I _immediately_ assumed that she didnt answer the phone or the door because she was how do I put this delicately a little tied up at the moment? As the spouse of a narcissist, I am the one with the problemthe one who is too sensitive, the one who cannot take a joke. Or Id go to the door (without opening it) and try figure out what the hell was going on. In my current town, 911 is listed as Dispatch Operations Emergency and the non-emergency line is Dispatch Operations Non Emergency. 1. Ask him whats happening for him in this relationship. Those two things put together = enough indication of *possible* trouble to warrant a phone call to the cops. And obviously not *constantly* checking messages, phone calls when you are worried about an employee is a major oversight. Something similar happened at my moms work. 15 Signs He Doesnt Care About You He doesnt answer your calls. Complete overreaction, just dont answer the door, theyll move to the next one. Seriously. Call the police. Dont you always work on Thursday? Well yeah, but I could have be murdered in my bed, or dead in a ditch. The employee certainly thought we were outrageous.
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