should i tell my husband i kissed another man

Whats happening here? (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) Though less common, HSV-1 can also cause genital herpes. NO WAY. What does it mean for my marriage? You might tell your husband that The Pouncer is flirting--and while the Pouncer could be attractive to an unattached woman, you love him. If I were your husband, i don't think I would want to know. Dont tell him how to feel, give him space if he needs it. Like, if you got mouth-herpes from the kiss and now you have sores on your lip and your husband could get them from you but it happened in the past, you feel ashamed and know it was wrong and wouldn't repeat it now why should you bring it up? I believe in complete honesty, 100%. Either way, I feel I destroyed our marriage. As a matter of fact, I was so shocked that I can't even remember the actual kiss at all. I thought he was going to say something about us and I was going to tell him "no thanks" and I would walk away feeling like " oh yea, I still got it". Oh, I see. I myself have had issues in the past months but I won't elaborate. You should tell your dh so he can decide if you're the kind of person he wants to be married to imo. He recently had to take a trip without me. This one by far has lasted the longest. Sorry Soulmate I know I need to stop,but it's hard to. I didn't tell my husband. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. As per a study, married men are more likely to cheat than women. You can build authentic trust only if you show up in all your authentic honesty. Basically as the title, I kissed someone else on a night out last night. I never told my husband. Go to a therapist if you think it could help you work through why this has appealed so much. Could be reading too much into this but the fact that she even considered telling him then asking advice about it is meaningful. Go cold turkey. My eyes were closed and my head was By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I see this as two issues. Again I could go on with this subject,and I undoubtedly will. reader, Odds+, writes (1 June 2011): A Cell phones, texting, emails etc. And note, you don't HAVE to take my advice. I think it's hard for him since he's all the way out there.. but I think he would respect the fact that you're telling him, because you didn't have to. Niether should he expect to have any further contact. Don't have an account? Nah Don't say a word about it. Should you tell your partner if you kissed someone else? Wouldn't you? With the other woman just across the room! "what the hell where we at?" Truth-seekers are never popular. Another Of course you are! However for the next time please be careful and never do such a blunder because he's a gem and you should not lose him just for your stupid or foolish acts .i mean any sophisticated or a ONE MAN WOMAN (a proud title for me :) and hopflly for u too ) wont like to stress her relatn or leave a man whom she loves or take him in a position where he might leave ? Read more: 9 things you're doing wrong when you kiss man I'm a CPA/MBArisk assessment shouldn't be applied to a Christian walk. Husband kissed someone else I was so drunk I couldn't see straight. Feel free to start your own thread if you finally find you've a need to.). Which is why I mention the need for air. I have just found out my husband of 6 years kissed another women on a drunken night out. This feels huge to me. Stay away from topics about sex, secrets, and struggles. Whoops, I kissed a man! | Salon.com Most relevant Should you tell your partner if you kissed someone else? Reddit, Inc. 2023. I've been married 2 years, together for 9. response. I have been with my husband for nearly 16 years and we have an amazing and a happy life with Press J to jump to the feed. I was drunk, confused, and very sad. Scopes: Yes, the kids are the real victims. Take it away, expand if you please! I can tell you now, you won't feel NOT telling your partner is not protecting your partner and your marriage, it's self-protection against having to do the work called, Atonement, so you can ignore likeminded proponents whose choice from the excuses menu is that (yawn) telling your partner is a selfish act geared towards offloading some of the guilt when actually, perfectly logically, if the marriage is half theirs then so is the responsibility over the fact it degenerated to that point in the first place (excluding the choice-of-unilateral-action part, obviously)because that's how it works. Not just to you. I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. The fact that you are still thinking about this kiss three years later suggests that there would be benefit from being open with your husband about this. WebIf a person slipped up once in a relationship and kissed someone else while drunk, is it absolutely necessary for them to confess to their partner? My husband is not a very affectionate person and I've never had much self esteem. But a 2 second lapse of judgement, that was initiated by someone else for the amount of hurt it would cause it's just not worth it, Don't tell him. I made that call today and will move from lates to early starting Monday 16th feb. I'm married to a lovely man and we have two children. Please don't take offense. Anonymous 17/05/2015 at 7:07 am Hi everyone, I really am in desperate need of advice. I completely agree with Setanta. They would ask, why should you upset him, and make him lose trust in you, just so you can feel less guilty? The flirting behavior can become addictive while you are in relationships, especially after you have been in a relationship for a while. The conversation may not be easy, but it should make your life easier. If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. Should you tell your partner if you kissed someone else? Dont tell him how to feel, give him space if he needs it. We just bought a house and we are trying to have a baby, now the guilt just crashed down on me. I'll see you over there. The only reason I was thinking about it was because 1) My husband is my best friend and I tell him everything. Well, I actually feel better today. We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. I know why I put myself there, because I really couldn't believe that someone was actually attracted to me and I was so curious to see if it was true. The real question is to whether or not to let fear hold you back from being authentic. male You should tell your dh so he can decide if you're the kind of person he wants to be married to imo. instead of: First of all, he drinks way too much, like a 12-pack or more after work. Hopefully this will drop and you don't find yourself in this situation again. What isn't, is I can't concentrate at work, I have trouble eating and sleeping and have bad stomach aches. Even if youre already in a committed relationship, you may develop crushes from time to time. I don't understand why you would even consider it. IMO when you see tennis guy this weekend I don't think you can act like nothing happened, I think you have to have a short frank conversation and then forget about it. And a stitch in time saves nine. Telling your husband would only hurt him and as you said, may cause a split. WebCome on, its called trickle truth. You mentioned foreplay as being the main gate. What's don is done and over with, why would you want to tell your husband? Endorphines are released while the flirting is going on, hence the butterflies in stomach, and feelings of euphoria. i'm just saying becareful, get yourself in check. I regretted it and spoke to a fellow Christian, repented and asked for God's forgiveness. Honestly, I know people are going to think Im terrible but no I don't think it's neccessary to tell him that unless it directly effects him. You reap what you sow. Oh no worries soulmate, yes we do miss you We'll talk tomorrow. Right,undoubtedly you didn't say what Tillybops wanted to hear. Houston, despite we started out as just friends, we now have PROOF that we have utilised a mechanism for cultivating love and respect, enough to now remain together til death do us part. You cannot pretend your way into a great relationship. Then (my name) I NEED SEX! I kissed another mantwice. ;-) (Awlthough, dang naace trah, they-yer, at tryin-a git' me ter disclows mah gendah. But please seperate the issues. An open marriage isn't for everyone but it definitely works for us. To all of us, it's very innocent. i beleive you honestly love your husband, but infidelity happens to people weather they love each other or not. Anyway I'll get off this post now. The planet won't stop revolving around the Sun if you don't tell him. Did I think he was going to kiss me? If he is going out of his way to see you then it might be because he has feelings for you. Still, now that the courts are coming down wider and heavier on emotional abuse, I'm sure it's just a matter of time. For medical advice, always consult your medical doctor. Thanks for all the replys. She needs to do what her heart, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, is telling her. I have been with my husband for 20 years, and the thought that someone was actually attracted to me seemed so unbelievable. Last year I kissed another man on 3 separate occassions. That's not what you want especially since this will never happen again. Everyone has their own opinion. Tell him that you love him and hes the only guy that you need. I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. I don't think he's going to hunt you down with an axe. 64.227.108.120 I'm married to a lovely man and we have two children. NOT mentioning it could make you come across guilty. It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. You're the worst! 25 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman Ugh, basically. Team spirit is this: California coastal beeches will leave you saying -America not too shabby.. Can't take anything from South of France-doesn't everybody go there? If your husband *did* get wind of it thus realised you'd kept it secret from him - despite he told YOU when someone made a pass at HIM - he'd then have A NUMBER of major beefs with you: He is a good person and a good husband and I love him very much. I would forgive a repentant wife and I would want to know the truth. Because you feel guilt and awful, that is already a potential secret wall that will build up between you and the one person in the world with whom you want to be a true closest friend. I was very drunk. Many might advise to bury this information and never let it see the light of Loyal Girl sorry to hear about your situation. ;-)). - I wouldn't tell your husband, not because the episode was scandalous and threatening in any way, but that your previous nonserious flirting and the guy's advance could stir up a storm of feelings that would be inappropriate to the actual event and set distrust and its uglies in motion. WebNO, if you have no intention of cheating on him from now on, don't tell him, it's not like you slept with the guy. And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. Drop it in CASUALLY, as part of general chit-chat, like it's no big thing (because if it's no biggie to you then that must mean it isn't and wasn't any threat to him), and in such a way as draws similarities with his own past incident. My husband So he tells you that the only kissed so you get that in your head and instead of a I was very drunk. All it would do is hurt him and your marriage. I know him well, if I do tell him, it will destroy him and I can't bear to see him suffer. And that will all be the result of telling the truth, so that nothing hidden stands in the way of the two of you being joined in complete union, as it were. / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. Simone was telling a caller how satisfy his girlfriend. All my friends have as well as my husband. Of course, that blew up in my face and I feel guilty about it. :p. You're quite correct, though, I did forget the typical-forum rule of only ever responding with whatever would leave me super-popular, particularly amongst the most naive and dupe-able who 'can't tell' quite a lot. And then continued behaving like friends as if the mere certificate would do the work and promotion parts for you (or, alternatively, continued accepting the fact that ONE friend couldn't quite dare up his friendship ante to where you felt sated in the affection and attention worthy of marriage department) Now that we are engaged I cant help feeling awful and guilty now and then. male What you're doing might FEEL easier, but that's you making the mistake too many others make, which is paying heed only to the *short* term, meanwhile risking leaving that bud to grow unseen into a thorn bush Oh, I'm sure he'd be able to forgive her, LOYAL GIRL. She had gone to bed. In the world, the situation is called "lying by omission.". When the night was over one of the women said we could go back to hers for drinks, and I was happy to go. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. Your "punishment" for kissing back is beating yourself up about it, and its probably the only thing you are thinking about. A married man falls in love with another man or a married woman with another woman. I noticed him kinda touching my hand a bit but I didn't pull away. [3] you couldn't extend to him the same courtesy he'd already extended to *you* (i.e. Before you close I'd like to say that I totally agree with you. I'll still cross over with him at times, but it will be minimal. If tennis-guy doesn't understand, too bad for him, remove yourself from his company as far as possible. Biological ones. I kissed another Man, please help It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. Well, that's all fairly laudible but Need help with your relationship? It's one of those cases where keeping it a secret would be worse than the transgression itself, especially since it'd be a case of 'the pot calling the kettle black'. Sometimes having feelings for someone else means that you are not satisfied in what you have already, but other times its just a curiousity thing. Which brings me to my questions: Should I confess this to my husband? Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. Are you obsessed with it because you're confused about your feelings for women? . You're not attracted to him? WebNever disrespect your wife by talking negatively about her to another woman. "Its enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment." Just my thoughts having been a victim of cheating. Not sure how anyone can say they're "certain" he doesn't need to know, given the fact that he made his own standards and expectations perfectly clear on that score, back when he himself was the 'victim' of a come-on. I thought we were talking, in context of the above-type scenario, about mouth-to-mouth kissing being a 'gateway to sex' for the fact of it sparking physical arousal, ergo, whether delayed or in-the-moment, counts as foreplay, ergo, infidelity (albeit, granted, at the thin area of that whole wedge). The playing field is even now according to statistics. I kissed another man. Should I confess They would ask, why should you upset him, and make him lose trust in you, just so you can feel less guilty? Somehow, this model of communication may work to prevent his upset, but it will most likely also create a split in the relationship where you have to keep up a wall. Most people don't confess- You ask for advice of what you should do- you got the RIGHT advice. The guilt is I was heart broken, and even though he said he immediately pulled away, and we stayed together and over time forgot about it, I remember feeling so uneasy every time I knew he would be in that girls company. I never told my husband, should I tell him now as it happened so long ago? .Houston, you and I have now strengthened our bond (whereby attention and affection follow) by together having conquered a potential crisis which can now longer be called a problem rather than a PAST godsend of a dual warning (not enough attention/affection worthy of marriage) merely in problematic clothing. I know I've been transformed. Just stupid adult fun with no intentions of anything. I don't see any good coming from me confessing, only hurt and upset and doubt, and think my time would be better spent working on my relationship, and working through the issues that are putting so much pressure on us at the moment. What if your husband ever found out? I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. From the moment I made my commitment to refuse to try to After all she did say that the kiss lasted for maybe 5 minutes. Some song came on and it was a soppy song and we were both singing along. I dont know which country u belong from but where i live I don't think men here like us to talk to strangers , men are our protectors and the bread earners, men on the whole are possessive of their females all around the world specially in case like yours if you have been too much loyal to each other,however if we assumed both of u to be flirt or too outgoing-means in case of slping wid ppl etc then u could share an event like a normal secretbut remember this is not merely a secret its equal to CONFESSING A CRIME/yes disloyality is a crime another man can not touch u after u r marryd to sombdy-if i take myself into account i can never allow any guy to touch me its only my hubbys right to see and love me even he says my loyalty is his most precious asset:) so if u do confess then he forgives or not for ur crime is his decision- I would recommend you should avoid telling him n you should change your job or timings as soon as possible because he that boy may try to exploit the situation tell your hubby though it has little chance but still you should be careful. We both expressed sadness at how badly our marriage had broken down and we talked about how to fix things. Should I tell my boyfriend? If I were the husband and some how found out through a second party my trust would be broken. He followed, got into bed, and kissed me again. WORK. For the last two years have read a lot about infidelity. She then followed him out and kissed him. lover. The alternative is that slowly building wall and that for sure will end up being a problem that wont go away. My thread is called Hurt and Confused. Social media, the Internet, texting and so on. reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): A If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. You can only face your fears, be authentic, respond to feelings that are real, and learn and grow. focus on you and your DH. I also agree with SUSIEDQQ that is won't be the worse thing that will ever happen to her or her marriage. "but the fact I work with this person and have to continue to work with him. "
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